Kaleidoscope

The cycle of my unhinged life.

Sex. Drugs. Music. Dancing, followed quickly by;

Chaos. Madness. Insanity, and let’s not forget what I’m left with after the high is over.

Emptiness. Loneliness. Sadness, and then just like the masochist I am, I hit repeat and do it all over again. 

I’ve strived to be the perfect daughter. 

To be everything my picture perfect family wanted me to be.

A never ending weight I carried on my shoulders everyday.

All it took was one tip of the scale to send me into a downward spiral, leaving them behind without looking back.

Now, I find myself living in the biggest mindf*ck of them all.

I’m caught between four men who are nothing but bad for me.

Four devils in disguise. 

Monsters ready to rip me apart if given the chance.

They were meant to be a good time. 

One night of pure ecstasy. 

A way to take the edge off my never ending torment, but they refused to let me go. 

They are a promise of pain, agony, and suffering. But like all addicts, I’m hooked on them.

Strung out on the thrill that makes me feel alive. I soak in all that I can.

Until a sobering reality quickly found us. We got ourselves in a grimly, dark situation with no way out. 

Now we’re f*cked. 

It‘s sink or swim and I feel like I’m drowning. 

Will the monsters save us or will we all go down together?

And even if they do, do I want to live again?