Rotten Girl

Envy.

Such an ugly sin.

Yet, here I am guilty of it.

See, I envy you.

You who wake up in the morning not knowing what your future will entail.  A blessed uncertainty filled with hope and mystery, with the potential to make it whatever you aspire it to be.

Must be nice — to open your eyes and dream of such a promising existence.

I have no such hopeful misguided notions.

My fate has been written down on crumpled paper, made smooth and immaculate by bloody tainted hands for the outside world to behold, since the day I was conceived.

There is no happily ever after for me but I’ve come to terms with my gilded golden cage long ago.

It’s their destiny that keeps me up at night — the pieces of my soul.

They are the ones who I would defy the devil himself for and stare true evil in the eye, taunting it to do its worst.

There is nothing I wouldn’t do for them, yet I know the wheel of fortune is not in our favor.

So, yes — I envy you.

While you dream of your colorful tomorrow, I dread its grayish arrival. 

You see, we were all born rotten.

And rotten girls and boys don’t deserve a fairytale ending.